What to Say at the Very Start

When you first begin discussing a divorce settlement with your spouse, try to say something like, “You are a reasonable person, and I’d like to think that I’m also reasonable, and I’m sure we will be able to work this out. I just want you to know that I won’t be happy with anything we agree on unless you are just as happy as I am.”

Any you might add, “I want our mutual satisfaction to be our real target. If we get off track, I give you permission to remind me of this, and I hope you will allow me to do the same.”

Indicate that his/her concerns are your foremost priority and that you will listen very carefully to everything they have to say. To insure the best possible result, see if the two of you can agree to creating your own Rules of Order to govern these settlement discussions.



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Kari and Richard are staunch advocates of the non-court approach to divorce, and are also active and seasoned litigators with over 80 years of combined trial experience in the Illinois divorce courts of Cook and DuPage counties.