This article was published in the Chicago Now section of the Chicago Tribune (circa 2011) as part of the Kulerski & Cornelison “The Way We War” series of articles.

What are some of the signs that your partner might be cheating on you? This is a complex subject, and we will defer to Dr. Robert Huizenga who is a leading expert in this aspect of human behavior.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, CSW, LMFT, is a Muskegon, MI Marriage and Family Therapist and Psychotherapist that specializes in the area of marital infidelity.  His web site contains an interesting article link that lists 46 signs of a cheating spouse.

Interestingly, his list seems to boil down to one concept, a sudden change in behavior by one partner.  Particularly changes in personal behavior.  Some are gender specific and some are very general.

A very generic sign might be that he or she joins a gym and begins a rigorous workout program, or has a sudden preoccupation with their appearance.

Other warning signs might include discovering that your spouse has taken a vacation day or personal time off from work without telling you.  Or they suddenly show an interest in a different type of music.

Items on Dr. Robert Huizenga’s that might be warning signs of a potentially cheating husband include:

  • He starts buying his own underwear.
  • He insists that the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.
  • He has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

These may seem inconsequential at first sight, but in hindsight they can make a great deal of sense.  It is often the little things that are the tell tell-tale signs of larger ones.

Dr. Robert Huizenga also mentions sex, even in this seemingly simple area, there are some warning signs:

  • He/she suddenly has less interest in sex.
  • He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

Two key points however, are:

  • Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.
  • The telltale sign of cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

Dr. Huizenga offers on line coaching services and has written several helpful articles on infidelity. For more information, check out

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Kari and Richard are staunch advocates of the non-court approach to divorce, and are also active and seasoned litigators with over 80 years of combined trial experience in the Illinois divorce courts of Cook and DuPage counties.