Effectively maintaining a line of communication during your divorce can be as simple as using the proper tone of voice. Concern and sincerity can be reflected through inflection and pitch–as can lack of concern and insincerity. Tone of voice can move you in the right direction or back you into a corner.
Tones of voice can be contagious. Adopt the same pace of speech that your spouse uses–not faster or slower, not louder or softer. Keep in mind that how you ask for something is often just as important as what you are asking for.
Even the least antagonistic remarks will hurt you if you use the wrong tone when stating them. Never sound like you are challenging or confronting your spouse.
Rather, speak in a tone of voice that demonstrates that you wish to know more about where your partner is coming from. Let your pitch and inflection demonstrate that you are genuinely interested in getting a clear understanding of their settlement position and of the thought that went into it.
Finally, keep your volume in check. A loud voice never convinces anyone of anything; it does just the opposite and virtually insures that your spouse will tune you out.
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