Marital Infidelity: Telltale Signs of a Cheating Spouse

As divorce lawyers in DuPage and Cook Counties, we have access to experts who are willing to share their wealth of knowledge. One such professional is Dr. Robert Huizenga, CSW, LMFT, a Muskegon, MI Marriage and Family Therapist and Psychotherapist who specializes in the area of marital infidelity.

What are some of the signs that your partner might be cheating?

Dr. Bob’s web site contains an interesting article link that lists 46 signs of a cheating spouse.

Interestingly, his list seems to boil down to one concept, a sudden change in behavior by one partner. Some of the changes that Dr. Bob mentions are:

  • He or she joins a gym and begins a rigorous workout program, or has a sudden preoccupation with their appearance.
  • He starts buying his own underwear.
  • He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.
  • He has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.
  • He/she suddenly wants to try new love techniques, or sex suddenly becomes rougher.
  • He/she suddenly has less interest in sex.
  • He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.
  • You find out by accident he or she took a vacation day or personal time off from work without telling you.
  • He/she shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.
  • He/she begins speaking with friends or coworkers on the phone in the late evening.
  • His/her tastes in certain restaurant foods change dramatically, e. g., after ordering well-done steaks for many years, there is a sudden shift to rare.
  • He/she begins to mention a co-worker of the opposite sex in a way that they have not done in the past.
  • His/her co-workers seem uncomfortable in your presence.
  • He/she spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.
  • He/she is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.
  • He/she suddenly sets up a new private email account? Or he/she begins deleting the caller id list from the phone.
  • You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.
  • Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is “touchy” and easily moved to anger.
  • Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

Another telltale sign of a cheating spouse is having to ask that question in the first place.

As Dr. Bob points out, not every sudden change is a red flag. However, if there are already suspicions, it might be advisable to be alert.

Dr. Huizenga’s website is You can also call him at 888-525-3510 for more information about his articles and online coaching services.

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