The tough and unyielding premise of the words… “I’ll see you in court!” are hardly productive when it comes to concluding a faltering marital relationship. Turning to divorce litigation in the heat of anger usually results in a brutal reality that includes combative behavior, bad attitudes and a defining loss to all concerned.
Soon-to-be-ex partners find themselves caught up in a legal system that sees only black and white. There is no consideration of feelings or emotions. As a result, divorcing parties fall victim to the legal system, which often causes additional emotional devastation.
Fortunately, there is such a thing as a “friendly divorce”. This non-adversarial, non-confrontational approach to an age-old problem most importantly addresses the basic human need to be understood.
“Practitioners of Collaborative Law and Cooperative Divorce Law offer a more respectful way to resolve family disputes,” says Gary Direnfeld (MSW, RSW), a Canadian social worker deemed an expert in custody and access matters by Courts in Canada.
Direnfeld explains that through the assistance of collaborative professionals, “Neither side is bent on tearing down the other, but conversely, directed towards leaving relationships as intact as possible.”
This approach to divorce or legal separation in DuPage County creates a sense of safety instead of fear and facilitates the chances of an early settlement. It also helps insulate children from the dispute and puts the divorcing parties in control. Working through a divorce with a “friendly” approach also requires less healing time as it does not inflict new and unnecessary pain.
“At heart the collaborative law and cooperative divorce settlement models develop consensus between the parties for a mutually acceptable settlement,” said Direnfeld. “The process is thought to provide for more durable outcomes while maintaining the integrity of the participants.” Settlement issues can include whatever must be determined – spousal support, DuPage County child support, the ongoing care of children, and the division of assets.
Maintaining control of these emotional issues is a direct contrast from traditional court system scenarios in which both parties often retain their own financial and custody experts. Recommendations from a third party often do not reflect the position of either party and can easily result in additional conflict.
Keeping divorce out of the court system is becoming a favored option as divorcing partners find help from collaborative divorce lawyers. This less intrusive process helps in procuring a faster and more affordable settlement, not to mention the fact that it reduces trauma to the family unit.