Children need their parents to tell them, in an age-appropriate way, why the parents are divorcing, and how the divorce will affect them. They do not need to have the details.
Keep your statements simple when talking to the children. For example: “I still love your daddy, but in a different way.” Or, “Divorce is something only adults understand.” Or, “We tried to make things work out but it just wasn’t meant to be.” Or, “You will understand when you are older.”
They must be given a commitment as to when they will see the absent parent again. The visiting parent should bring the child to his or her new home as soon as possible so that the child can inspect it and become comfortable there.
Both parents must transmit a positive feeling that everything is going to be OK. Children have no way of controlling the situation, so they must count on you to make things OK. Divorce is about your children, it is not about you.
Your children’s futures are in your hands. No matter how your partner behaves toward the children, it only takes you to make a difference.