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Divorce Advice: Communicate Better

Girlfriends Enjoy A ConversationIf you’ve already filed for divorce and had your initial divorce consultation, you realize that divorce can result in some very strong emotions. However, it’s vitally important that you communicate better with your spouse during the process. This article is for those who need to be more direct without being too aggressive.

Being direct – also known as being “assertive,” can be hard at first, but it is something that gets easier the more you do it. There are also many benefits to being able to assert your feelings. When you can tell someone how you feel, it makes your communication skills stronger. Good communication is the foundation for all relationships.

There are also many positive effects from being more direct. If you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, you are more likely to suffer  anxiety, depression, and stress. This can affect your relationships with others, your daily life, your productivity at work, and even cause health problems with your heart and immune system.

Here are some tips to help you become more direct:

Write out what you want to say, before you have a conversation. Getting your thoughts in order will help you stay calm and collected and will keep you from saying something you might regret later.

Ask a friend to have a “practice conversation” with you. Tell them what you’d like to say. They may be able to offer you some advice on what you’re saying. Maybe they have suggestions on how you can alter your words, to avoid causing any confusion or hurt feelings.

If you do not feel as though you can have a conversation with that other person, you can write them a letter. Be sure to proofread it before you send it. Asking someone else to read it may also be a good idea.

Remember that people have a hard time understanding the tone of a conversation when it’s in written form. Don’t try to be sarcastic or make jokes, as they could get taken out of context. Just be polite and to the point.

Getting things off of your chest will help you in the long run, even if it seems difficult at first. Don’t let a few moments of being uncomfortable stop you from communicating your thoughts and feelings.

Richard and Kari are Dupage Divorce Attorneys who welcome hearing from you and we invite your questions. There is no obligation. No one will ever know that we spoke or what we discussed. Everything you say is privileged, confidential, and completely classified. We do not maintain a mailing list and will not contact you unless you ask us to.

Calling us is easy. Ask for Richard or Kari (Oak Brook 630-928-0600), or email us at or

If we are in court or in a meeting when you call, one of us will personally get back to you as quickly as possible. We are extremely discreet with callbacks and reply emails. Just leave your name and a secure email address or personal cell phone number.

Richard and Kari are staunch advocates of the non-court approach to divorce, and are also active and seasoned litigators with over 60 years of combined trial experience in the Illinois divorce courts of Cook, DuPage, and Will counties.


1 S 660 Midwest Road Suite 320 Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181



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