How to Settle Out of Court, Our Non-Court Approach

One-on-one divorce settlement conversations with your spouse are doomed if either of you fails to demonstrate good listening skills.

You have the right to plead your case, but you do not have the right to make your partner listen.

Listening and hearing are not the same. Hearing without listening runs rampant in divorce and it causes wars.

Getting your partner to hear your side is not enough to influence their settlement wishes, you must make it appealing for them to listen to why you believe your position is righteous.

You do not do this by talking about yourself, or about what you want until you first ask to hear their viewpoint–and you listen to it fully and with compassion.

Since you cannot count on your partner to take the initiative, the job of being the first to do the serious listening is up to you. Only you can break the downward spiral of resistance, stubbornness, and obstinacy.

Careful listening shows your willingness to consider their point of view, and makes it easier for them to consider your point of view.

If you do not listen to their concerns first, they will never listen to yours, and you both lose.

Learn more with 9 Things to Consider at the Start of Your Divorce

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