Keeping It Friendly

The “friendly divorce” approach makes it possible for settlement discussions to take hold before things get out of hand and costly.

How do we let our spouse know that we are willing to do our part to achieve a sensible, out of court settlement?

Here are some techniques that help set the stage:

  • Always speak in tones that transmit sincerity and compassion and never raise your voice.
  • Make it possible for your spouse leave the negotiation table with some satisfaction and some bragging rights.
  • Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by hiding funds or assets, cutting off the cash flow, running up charge cards, or playing games with visitation. These tactics start wars and cost money.
  • Avoid making any negative comments about your spouse’s vices, traits, propensities, habits, work tendencies, appearance, etc.
  • Do not push your spouse’s buttons. Angry people are less open to considering solutions. Clear-mindedness helps your partner see the problem as you do.
  • Manage your emotions, no matter how right you think you are and how wrong you think your partner is. You are sitting at the negotiation table to settle your case, not to waste money by trying to prove a point.

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