Dealing with Your Spouse’s Stubbornness

By definition, perspective is how we see or understand something. It is what gives us our point of view.

Perspectives are the result of our life experiences. They run deep within us and are extremely difficult, if not impossible, to change. They are also the biggest reason why we have divorce wars.

Our courtrooms are traditionally full of litigants that are unsuccessful in trying to change their spouse’s perspective about who should get what in the divorce. This is why so many divorce wars are unnecessary.

The truth is you will never change your partner’s perspective any more than they will ever be able to change yours. The key to non-court dispute resolution is to accept that you are dealing with a brick wall and then applying your creativity and energy toward finding a way around the wall.

If you fight the way your spouse sees things, you are asking for war. If you allow your spouse to see things as they do, you open the only window you need to entice them to meet you half way. Listening to each other’s concerns and validating the other’s right to have such concerns is your best bet for getting around the wall of resistance.

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